i;m the Tulip in your blood

i've called you ' Beloved '....

Because you cannot be anything else !

In a drop of blood you

who resurrect.

i worship you

 the secret of living you tell me is in the 'dying'.

You tell me " ' How can you kill that which has not - the 'Ego ?

How can you kill that which you - cannot grasp

does it not comes to you - without your calling ? '

' Dont give me a name...so when you 'll hurt - you may not hurt in my name! ' "

" Love is ....

it's born in your eyes 

the very moment your heart begins to beat!

i'm in the names of everything

therefore, nameless.

i hide in everything - even before you became thought.

i manifest in everything - even before you 've opened your eyes 

 i'm formless....

you see of me as you would in your mirror,

the smallest dust scattered in this universe is also what i am

i encompass everything -  even as you seek to touch what 

cannot be touched!

Reach out at me 

as you'd reach out at infinity

i'm the 'every-ness' of life !

' i've always been the Silence 

murmuring in your soul

that is where you shall always meet me

so

in your solitude you shall recollect my fullness.

In the temples i'm only a shadow

where as in your heart

i am its true light !

Remember this,

You're alone 

only when you do not know who you are! '.

i'm the tulip in your blood. "

i worship you who hide in the tulips

My forefathers taught me to bow and kiss your hands and feet

but you overwhelm me...

as You've bend down to kiss mine....

saying,'  This is what the Beloved does to a Beloved.

In Love there only place for 

' feelings beyond all understanding'....

thus, this is how i resurrect ,

in a kiss, 

and not in the heavens'

' Do this then , as i do it' said you

in you  - the divine stands, as there , as in the one who stands before you

Be it Man , Woman or Child.

Remember this

i 'm not gone, i'm here ..... i'm here in the eyes of  'the other'

there ,  in your Brother's, your sister's, Your father's, Your mother's, in the child's, in the friend's....and most of all

there is the lover.

So verily .. to thee i say , 

Love then,

Be love.

No school could teach this,

it cannot give to you what you already have.

Open all you have.

All you have to is open,

to who you are,

as would  a rose or a lily

as it would  open  seeing the sunlight.

You are no different.

No different you are 

Cast away your fears  for it hinders the sunshine towards you.

And then this i say,

i say

Love ....

not only the man,

but

 the trees, the flowers, the birds, the reptiles,

the animals, the rocks the rivers, the winds, the clouds....for in this

is the flux of Love....

All this is the flux of Love

These ceaseless tides crashing from the mornings and nights

erodes the rocks of our egos.

The strolling torments

stalls into a garden of quietness

sitting at the very source

from where all things awaken.

Humming words

approved by luminous silences

speaks fragrantly to the noses of our thoughts.

What the carressing breeze writes voluptously in our souls

are only  these roses murmuring,
These roses

growing  from the lamps of our meditations.

My pen revisits

the obscure swamps, the precipices

where the craftsmen of light

pound within the furnaces of our souls

throwing sparks

to forge

an universe for our being.

And

all that i write is already written

by the goldeness of fleeting stars.

i translate
these elevations

held in glorious ephemeral instances.

The self kneels on a carpet of light
to kiss the face of love.

Know this then,
Your entire self

is an unfolding poem

raining

against a quiet heaven of light.

Like sheaves of wheat they sway

gracefully in gratitude
to the songs of their own being

This Something  stirs in 
silence 

And as often i begin my phrases with ' This'.

i wondered why

i wondered if or as if
the god in my heart bid me to dispose of everything else

in order to be in the immediacy of the moment
discarding everything, stop the overlooking
skipping, hopping....

This is what  ' This ' means to me.



To summon the totality of myself
without leaving a single particle behind

to summon myself to the vortex of the Present.
With the same straightening obedience 
when the grass sees the Sunrise.

And Today,
This sunlight playing in the meadows of my Solitude
i cannot tell how beautiful it is....

If dying is like this
let me tell you
Let me die.

What has been taken from me comes back
with different faces and voices
It comes back through the
sunshining on the green leaves
as it might in winter
when the ground is cold and frozen on an
unknown day.

what has been taken away from me
whatever i thought i had lost
comes back with so much beauty that it hurts



i still see it
my childhood walking in my fully adult feet
eyes dazzled by whatever
it saw then
still sees now dazzling

with its happy smile given from nowhere or perhaps
from God's own infancy.

Whatever has been taken from me
shows itself
peeps out from soothing rocks and waterfalls of my soul

At times after a tired day
i sit on the porch
the evening light comes in
and i fall asleep
it is there i am
in the music
within the quietness awakening from another dawn.

You sprinkle in my thoughts today

Spring sways deliciously in the wind  
And 
my thoughts fly yonder to you, 

 Faltering 
amidst the fondest memories 

of how strangely we 
have given our love to each other, 

 How the farthest and nearest bonds are entwined... 

wondering ridiculously why these unmet feelings still have meaning.

i reckon somehow 
some kind of your beauty still continues to haunt me,

Have i known you  from beyond  
the timeless designs. 

 Solemnly, hither i walk 
amidst the tall grass of these flowering woods 
whilst thoughts of you fills me with all kind of aches.

Towards you i come and go 
without your knowing.
while whispers pine within phrases and i can't pen

Sighingly I tell the stars that your light is 
far too sublime than any 
arising in my knowing.
 
May these words bring something of who i am at
 your doorstep though ghostly they might be. .. 
as anything interfered by light would be.

In the meanwhile we both shall meander, 

each
in our garden of Silence 
just wondering about each other 
inspite of the naught around us

For You my Love 
i 've untied the sun today 
and bound them in my words 

so you might behold this heart 
vain of any shadow.

Be safe, Be loved...

This is  your mouth i kiss it sumptously, 
Sumptously , your soul i kiss.

this  garden -- on your skin
these drops 

i collect.
the dew.

The flirtful air , the pure blue sky
April blooms

What will i find in your Silences
What will you find in mine

Silence - is'nt an obsession...but my true state of being

Though, 
At this very moment as i write about Silence....
i'm anything but like it.

There,
Comes a dove from an unknown sky
From far above for any eyes

In a wink it's there
In a wink it's gone

But if it stays
it fills you - you're filled with it....

No matter what you look at
Or what looks at you

You're hit by its light

Undoing your body - giving you its own
it says; 

Take it
and become a gleam

A flight 

a flight into your darkness

Let go the things to think - for what is there to think

thinking is noisy ; 

Here,
thinking is pointless

What is of thought cannot take you there
but
What is of thought can come in

this path is 
outside thinking

You can take it if  you can fall....

falling is the closest you can do to be with yourself

 So fall into you.

Can you fall like a flake of snow.

Can you hold 
what cannot be held 

Can you let it 
 fill you

Fling...fling into that flow
where things seen are'nt seen in the usual way..

Fling into your consciousness
Into its wakeful Silences
Into it's cosmic volcanoes

And witness the glory of seeing

Misery is a name you give: 
to what you can't see
If it were mere opening of the eyes you'd have seen it.

Touch

To touch that which is sacred
which is even closer to your skin

Hear

To hear , not by means of  your tympanum
To taste what is but not
by the mere tip of your tongue 


Taste


what taste has that 
which Wisdom has  put on your tongue

The perfume that haunts you so madly
 isn't in your nose .

how will you describe it

How will you describe the perfume of silence.



Words

the words that you seek ceaselessly 

the words only true lovers know

it isn't in your silence
it is'nt in your words
but in that trembling that penetrates you
when the arms of the sacred gathers you.

Silence 

Silence isn't the absence of noise 
but the hushful awareness of the presence of your self

The unbecoming of words as the meaningful moment of that instance fille you.


Your silence unavail

Your unavailability in listening to yourself 
leaves it unavailable.

The self is full: what it is full of.....  is silent...

It is silence

in such a silence you  hear the heart of all things


Hearts

beat
to that one heart


When you hear your silence 
you  hear the heartbeats of every word 

said 
and unsaid.

This is 
the sunrise you 've been waiting for

Your own sunrise.

This is 
where your first  poems rise from

The poem and the poet  both arises

The perfume of words : their taste, their touch
released from the tongue of your soul.

How will you write them.

Write them ,  
if  you know how they ought to be written

Write it 

write it in the other

the other who is looking silently at You

The unity that holds everything is now holding me.




It held me
Bringing the light over the sky to
the fields
Birds flew in translucent wings
And on that spot was that day 's heaven

The Sky didn't need to find its words

And i didn't need any to understand it's utterance

All was said, so very well said
in this language of Silence.


Sitting as any student
In a classroom of the universe
i sat learning
About the things that won't ever be repeated

Taking notes
I wrote 

i happened to be there
And being there was happiness.

Death visited me the first time when i was a boy.  i watch'd the ants carrying on their backs the dying worm.
i felt something sad cried for the worm
for none of its family was around.

i felt the same when they cut down the huge tree I used to climb . Later many others would fall. 
i realised it was there for so many years before my  forefathers and i.
It housed so many birds, insects... i used to look at it all along my boyhood years, but, really 
' saw it ' when they cut it down.
That tree gone. A part of my childhood gone. A friend gone. Maybe parts of it has become a roof  to somebody's house, maybe furnitures, firewood and other things.

The space where it stood 
stood bare 
No more of the greenish blue light of the mornings 
No more evening chirps i used to know.... and to this day i think of it. How fulfilled the land looked when it was there. 

The sunlight split into the pits where the traces of the roots remained, the rains fell, as many as the seasons..

i ve never been there until the other day.... And i recalled how that boy felt.

Memory of a silent friend - a memory that never left me
reminding that i too one day will be gone.

Ever since  Death has visited me many times, through so  many ways.... From a boy i became a man.
Then, the day i lost my father i felt the chop on the trunk of my soul.
A bleeding.
An ordinary light became immortal.

Then 
From that day I never went to look for him else where other than in my heart, where also was the Tree. 

A light burning in my wound 

asks the Sky,

'Are you my face'.

A face burning in my face asks,

whose face  my face has become.

Who is it who looks outside....looks at which universe 

and what is it that he sees

A light, burning within my chest

intense than the sunrise.

Words, my tongue afire.

Words on my tongue are'nt words

but the footsteps of love walking in, walking out

silently than silence.

Speaking -- it becomes a Rose.

It says, 

' Wake up Beloved...

Become empty

Become Space for my fragrance ' .

Is this why my face is not my face,

 a piece of the sky is sticking out .

§

Nights i've walked
within me

i've sketched my maps 
in half understood géographies 
of my childhood, my adoloscence, 
my more or less adult life.

i gather my words - from my wounds
from the memories of the rain, 
from the mornings and evenings of continual starlight falling on the ground

The shadows of the woods stood so still
opening doors to finding out 
who i 'm

sufficiently enough 
to unload the weight i 've been carrying

to transform my silence into words

Words i learnt 
to wound 
and be wounded.

Words
that destroyed the walls 
of your heart and mine 
at the same time.

The same words  
pushed me 
held me
burnt me, 
smothered me
have now become saviours.

Once, i heard 
them

now, i can see , listen, touch, and smell them.

Their bitterness 
become Nectar.

i donot speak them out on my knees

They 're the endless rivers of my body.

i harvest 
their throbs.